I used the better part of an 8.5x11 sheet of paper for my pattern, which must have made my cross bigger than the one pictured on savedbylovecreations,because she posted that the project took about three hours...mine took nearly eight!
The folding is simple but needs to be done carefully, so I tried to be consciously "in the moment" while I folded each quarter-page and, once I had a stack of them folded, rolled them into circles. I listened to music, I prayed, and I contemplated the frailty of this thing called life.
We had an out-of-order death in the family last month. My 26 year-old nephew died suddenly...out-of-order and unexpected ...a double-whammy of pain if ever there was one! Danny's viewing and memorial service was held at the funeral home on a rainy, Pacific Northwest Saturday. Less than half an hour before the memorial part was to begin, his mother asked his father, "Where is everyone?" I heard the tinge of panic in her voice. It was time to say goodbye and to honor and celebrate Dan's life and sure, family from near and far were filing in for the viewing, giving condolences and sharing stories, but where were the others? Where were the friends who could validate for her that her son had lived a full life and had been loved outside of the unconditional love that comes from family? Well, they came like most of us come to church...five to ten minutes before the service began, and they kept coming until the church, with a maximum seating of 200, was standing-room-only. They lined the walls, they stood in the lobby and when the time came, they stood and shared their memories. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated the gift of Dan that we'd been briefly given.A month has passed since Dan died and the simple rhythm of folding and rolling to create this cross gave me time to reflect on life, death, and the incredible gift of a loving family. I cried new tears and wondered what it felt like now, a month later, for my brother and sister-in-law. The busyness of a death was surely winding down and I wondered if they were allowing themselves proper grieving time. Their love is strong, but still I prayed that they will be gentle with each other in this new reality. I thought about Mike, Dan's older brother, and how his pain will be eased, but no more than eased, by Jen, his wife, and their two young sons.
Sometimes projects engage my whole being and when I’m done(for the day or with the project) I appreciate the complete immersion…the escape from the burdens and minutia of day-to-day life. In the end, I often feel I’ve left pieces of myself locked in those projects.
This cross, on the other hand, was exactly what I needed now; it forced me to sit, kept my hands busy and let my mind process things still burdening me. Instead of feeling pieces of me locked in the project, I felt my concerns, my cares, my fears, come, pass through the work, and release to a higher power. I felt peace. It’s the adage “Let go and let God”.
There’s so much to feel in this world. If we try to hold on to all of it by staying so busy that we don’t have time to process, we get bogged down. We get sick. We get depressed. We get insomnia.
Life-altering-moments...there's no getting around them in this world. I hope you find a gentle way to work through yours.
Peace,
Chris
